Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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