when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize