My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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