i don't want you to think of me as your TA
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
BRING THE BAGELS
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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