Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
This is my gift to your gina
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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