Cold hands, warm shart.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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