so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
