Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
