JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
