I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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