Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
