If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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