When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
