haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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