Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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