margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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