If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
