Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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