I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
