508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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