Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
