So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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