I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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