every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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