With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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