so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
