Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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