i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
