I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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