Apparently you make a good broom.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
