Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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