We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My first STD was from a foam party
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
