I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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