There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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