Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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