Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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