yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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