So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
