No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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