i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize