Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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