my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
