You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need a beard to bite.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
