So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
