u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
