My brain says no but my pants say off.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
