Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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