Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So vagazzling was a success
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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