No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
