Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize