I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
