I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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