pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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