i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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