You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
