This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
