by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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