we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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