she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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