i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize