Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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