I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
