i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
