The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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