I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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