Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize