is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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