Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
