Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize