Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
