i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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