I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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