he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
