god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
