Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
