i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
they need to just BURY HIM!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
