I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
