I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so let's talk penis.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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